Celebrating the Insignificant
We’ve all heard the admonition to “stop and smell the flowers.” And now, during a pandemic, many of us have learned to celebrate the little things. I’ve learned that it helps to have a friend notice the little things for me and celebrate them. Otherwise, I might pass them by. Isn’t this one of the functions of Christian community?
This past week has held some painful disappointments and though I’m not much of a crier, these brought tears. Smiling felt unnatural. Fear seeped through the door jams of my heart. Ministry felt fruitless and futile. Anger steamed out of the fissures of old wounds.
In the middle of these feelings, I was recounting some of the joyful moments with a Christian friend. She helped me recognize that these weren’t simply anecdotes in the margins of my pain. They really needed their own paragraph so that their story could be given proper weight.
A bit about bribes
The first one happened on Sunday: the day I taught children’s church. I walked to 7/11 to buy candy to win some attention from the kids despite my thick accent and boring presentation. Returning to the church with my hands full of candy, one of the church members noticed and asked me about it. So, I responded with an impish grin on my face that I bought candy to bribe the kids since I’m teaching children’s church.
She looked a bit confused and asked if I meant reward instead of bribe. I laughed. I really did mean bribe. However, she kindly told me that bribe in Thai has negative connotations and Thais would use the word reward in this situation. Regardless, I still meant bribe. There was going to be no proper, research-informed reward system. No, I was going to throw candy to students who answered my questions and sat nicely.
Trying to be polite and respectful, I didn’t disagree. I smiled and nodded my understanding. I squirreled that bit of contextual knowledge about the word “bribe” away for a useful time. Who knows when that will actually be. The conversation didn’t exactly inspire confidence in my language abilities.
My bribes did not work. The kids listened better to the Thai high schooler (who had no candy, incidentally) who led an activity at the beginning. Definitely not a boost of confidence or satisfying ministry in the least.
I’m packing up materials after church and my friend from earlier stops by with a smile and laughing eyes. She holds her hands up and asks for a bribe. Laughing, I hand her a piece of candy and tell her to behave herself. Childishly, she responds that she will sit nicely and listen.
The conversation was so small and insignificant. In my own language and culture, insignificant teasing like this would happen multiple times a day. I was tempted to pass by it with a smile, but nothing more.
My friend reminded me that it wasn’t insignificant. It was a moment to celebrate because a new, deeper connection was made and it was completely in my second language. Friendships are built and sustained by such small moments.
Small gifts
The second small celebration was on Monday. Our house helper comes Mondays and she is an older Thai lady who also happens to be our neighbor. Her Thai is incredibly hard for me to understand because it is local and fast. Friendship with her is slow-going because I have such a hard time understanding her and probably she has a hard time understanding me. I have tried to build trust and relationship with her and her family and one of those ways is giving her fruit or food occasionally. It’s a cultural thing to swap food among friends and neighbors here.
Monday, she brought me Thai snacks.
This was a first. She’s never brought me anything like that. She’s also starting to chat with me more. Again, small steps towards a friendlier relationship. It’s something small that’s worth celebrating.
I think too that God likes watching us celebrate the small things and giving us those things. Jesus commends the faith of children and children celebrate the smallest, most insignificant things.
As we get to know the kindness and goodness of God, I think we will notice and celebrate the small things more. Maybe they go hand-in-hand. Maybe like a good parent, God welcomes us into his presence as we cry to comfort us, but also gives and points out the small goodnesses too. He’s not bribing us into being less fearful or more thankful. He’s also not trying to tell us the big stuff doesn’t hurt by appeasing or distracting us the way a parent might. Instead, maybe he’s showing us his goodness and encouraging us in the middle of the pain. Is part of being in relationship with God, noticing the little things and celebrating them with God while the tears are still wet on our cheeks sometimes?